This post is for Britt from one of my favorite blogs TheFiskFiles. 

Let it be known that on today, March 31 2014, the sun shined for the first time in ages upon ages in Pittsburgh, PA. With the healing power of the sun while I wrangled my people into the grocery store sans cart (I think someone likes to hide carts in the parking lots from moms and watch the chaos for entertainment) I began to feel a little more committed to feeding this new baby something other than crap. So I bought almond flour and decided to attempt healthy baking. My resolve weakened each and every one of the six times I inadvertently walked past PopTarts, and I most certainly picked up a box and stared at the strawberry filling on more than one occasion. The only fake sugar to make it home, however, was contained in the Peanut Butter cups that Josie managed to either shoplift or tricked me into purchasing without my notice.

I’m seriously hoping Spring can give me more motivation to eat better because not even Lent has saved my appetite from wanting much else other than Frosted Flakes with a side of Wasabi Peas and guacamole or a Salmon salad followed by a dessert of 7 cookies and fried chicken (true life: i have disgusting pregnancy cravings). For the record I have never had pickles and ice cream but who knows what will happen in the next 26 weeks.

Rambles aside, I am going to try and be better because the sugar is helping nothing, especially not my veins, swollen face, or extreme tiredness. Yet, I have full certainty that my cravings are going nowhere.

Years ago in graduate school, I became certified in a mega hipster nutritional counseling program where I learned that cravings are a sign that my body needs something specific. The craving might be physical, emotional, sometimes even spiritual. For instance, I read about a dieter who tried to eat carrot juice because she hated vegetables. After said nasty juice, she wanted crunchy potato chips than anything and usually ended up binging on them. The craving came from what she missed in eating the whole carrot: the crunch. PopTarts probably look so F-ing good because they are sort of loaded with things my body actually needs but in a super distorted and unhealthy way. Baby #4 wants more calories, and my body needs carbs for energy. The indescribable desire for strawberry filling is still a mystery. The dependability of a daily 2pm craving indicates a natural sugar and energy crash because moms tend to not have very much time to make a healthy and filling lunch. Its also one of the most stressful times of the day because I’m very tired and my older two children no longer nap, allowing for very little rest time. Sugar is what I want when I’m stressed probably for a myriad of psychological issues and if I ever earn my doctorate in psychology, I’ll be sure to do plenty of research on emotional cravings and stress eating 🙂

And as for the nutrient dense avocado and salmon: its my body being good and wanting omegas because little one is stealing them 😉 The desire to eat them in combination with extremely sugary crap is still really weird and usually makes my husband want to barf (his version of sympathy morning sickness).

ANYWAY.

I sort of made up a relatively fake sugarless espresso banana muffin recipe because I know I’m gonna need something to get me through the sugar cravings and a touch of espresso is just a fantastic thing for a pregnant coffee addict like myself. I originally found this recipe while scrolling yahoo last night and ruined its intentions this afternoon. and if you have anything else healthy and reminiscent of cookies and would like to pass it along, help a hungry mom out.

I made these two ways because my husband is a normal eater.

The trying to be healthy pregnant girl version:

4- 5 very ripe large bananas (1 1/2 cups), mashed well (I used frozen ones because I think they get sweeter)
1 large egg, at room temperature
2 tablespoons of plain Greek yogurt
The rest of the morning’s coffee (about 1/4-1/2 cup which is MUCH more than I was supposed to use BUT I’m REALLY tired)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon (probably more actually, I’m liberal when it comes to coffee intake) ground coffee
1/3 cup melted coconut oil (or melted butter)
Honey: (wish I could tell you how much I used but i just put a bunch in and I think it really helped balance the lack of elasticity in the almond flour but I could be making that up.)  I used local honey because we bought a whole bunch of it with the hopes of protecting ourselves from allergies and its taste is only suitable in baked goods. Use whatever honey you like, and I hope the bees that made yours had access to pollinate plants other than Western PA weeds.

1 1/2 cup almond flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon sea salt

I have zero baking ability so I just mixed all the wet ingredients and then put in the dry ones and it worked. There is probably a more skillful way of going about it, but I am entirely too impatient to read directions.

Bake for 10 minutes at 350. Be sure to keep an eye on the kids during this time because if they are anything like mine, they will be eating mud and they will be doing it too close to the road. 

AND LET IT ALSO BE KNOWN THAT ON MARCH 31, 2014 I DID NOT BURN WHAT I PUT INTO THE OVEN.

Taste Test: In all honesty, I really very much enjoy them but they are not nearly as sweet as a PopTart, which is a little bit of a dagger in my pregnant heart, but they got me through the afternoon in a big way. Honey butter makes them much better. I’ve had 4. 

For Jim or someone who wants something sweeter. Add some butter (1/4 cup??) and some sugar. Use normal flour.

If you hate them, you can be like me and blame everything on this pregnancy.

Happy Spring! I think for real this time!!!!