Following much convincing and several lessons about what birthdays actually are, James has realized that being 4 years old can in fact last more than just one day and he will, in fact, never return to the days of being 3. Thankfully, his name will continue to start with J, his very favorite letter of the alphabet, and much to his dismay, no matter how many birthdays he has, Josie will also continue to begin with J, even on the very day of his actual birthday.

On his third full morning of his fourth year, he continued counting his gold candy money coins. Hidden in his the third drawer to the left in his bathroom, just underneath his toothpaste and seven toothbrushes, the candy element of his coin wealth remained undiscovered since Monday. And since we consumed enough sugar to fuel Santa’s whole workshop, I left that detail untold.

This morning while attempting to convince Josephine that it is absolutely inappropriate and she is prohibited from riding to drop off her brother at school without pants or a diaper, wearing only a flower tshirt, headband and socks, and rinsing a stale mixture of last night’s milk and speghetti from Rita’s sheets and hair discovered in her bed by her gagging mother as she sat happily undisturbed by the disgusting pungent bacteria crusting near her left eye, James discovered something incredible.

In the 30 seconds remaining before his arrival at school would be considered too late even for preschool, I scrambled to start the laundry and load them in as he excitedly interrupted, “MOM!!! MOM!!!!!!! THERE IS CHOCOLATE IN THIS MONEY!!!! WE ARE SO RICH!!”

May you find money growing on trees and may it be made of chocolate.