Step One: Reschedule the shoot so many times that neither you nor your husband can actually remember when the photographer is coming to the house.

Step Two: Talk about taking pictures so much that your husband gets so nervous he is physically unable to be anything but passive aggressive about ever taking any type of family picture ever again.

Step Three: Forget to make dinner early and realize T-Minus twenty minutes that each an every child is going to have a hunger meltdown on camera click 2.

Step Four: Freak out at husband T-Minus 19 minutes and 30 seconds and beg him to stop and pick up food and then complain about him being late even though that’s what was asked of him.

Step Five: Accidentally dress children in identical outfits as previous year offering no toddler fashion variety and begging the question, “is he growing ok?”

Step Six: Offer toddler something to hold while she is getting dressed, only to realize much too late that the object was not at all toddler friendly and most certainly an open container of baby powder spread generously all over outfit. Proceed to frantically change attire to find that the only clean pair of jeans are two sizes too small for mom bum.

Step Seven: Inadvertently show all three children the “if you are good,” prize too early. Expect tears and tantrums.

Step Eight: Hire a magician. Meet Margo