In Defense of Farting

I walked out to find them bare- bummed with tan lines exposed throwing blueberries off the front porch. No adult aided the baby striptease, and that’s where the fun was had, for they felt no need to immediately cover all that they had just exposed. I paused in my own judgment, before I proceeded to interrupt the competitive contest emerging from a dinner with too much cheese for systems of their size and operation. The smallest went first, an impressive release, and her participation on its own fueled fun into the air; light and smelly.  The eldest brother followed confident in his skills, which failed to impress beyond himself, though he did not notice the surroundings of his own ego, declaring himself the winner before the contest’s end, so proud of the noise he produced. As the middle girl expelled much more gas than one would think could exist in a toddler, interrupting her brother’s naked victory dance, laughter erupted more furiously than her bowels to the point of comical hysteria full of clapping, jumping, and teething drool.

The adult mother in me faced the temptation of horror in the face of the sheer freedom in so much naked flatulence. Yet upon further reflection, I do believe, children understand the underlying philosophical truth of farting much better than the adult, full of restrictive thoughts and habits brought on by age and fear. For I have never met a baby so overcome with themselves that they fear the opinion of others at the expense of their own comfort.

The foremost defense of children in their farting behavior begins with an understanding of freedom and necessity. Since it is necessary, like happiness, and sex, and maybe religion, too, it is only logical to revel in its game with reckless abandon, complete and without guilt or shame as these are the destroyer of all that is good and healthy.

Yet logic is not needed to apprehend farting’s fun, nor should it be employed in excess in any matter at all, for children understand the lightness it produces, and the necessity of rejoicing in air of everyday life; smelly or not.

With natural competition as the driver, the flatulence, itself, tends to ease and erase the underlying sense and existence of the day’s sibling rivalry, as stripping down naked without apprehension or insecurity and engaging in behavior in which there is no shame yet discovered, is one of natures most hilarious opportunities to refuel and ignite the indissoluble bond between siblings.

Its interesting, too, that even in their freedom, there is a recognition of order, for farting is much more fun, when the rules of taking turns are acknowledged and respected.

Imagine adults in the heat of arguments expelling such pungent smells with such ferocious sounds and continuing to care at all about the silliness of their original argument. If heads of states passed gas instead of bills, I believe the economy would be in much better shape. Or if two married adults, fighting over finances or birth control, simply farted instead, would not there be any better reason to retire towards laughter?

The understanding is inherent in a child to engage fully in the freedom in their souls still detached from worries and insecurities. They so often succeed in such a feat through behaviors we adults no longer have the courage to employ, which is where the real shame is, all bundled up inside, afraid and tense, anxious and embarrassed.