Linking with Conversion Diary, a blog so so so good and smart

1. I had every intention of making it to Vacation Bible School on Thursday. Halfway there, the debilitating stomach ache and migraine convinced me otherwise. As I began to make the left hand turn into my driveway, I hesitated. “The kids are inside,” I thought. I drove forward 40 more feet and parked in my sister’s/neighbors driveway. Away for the week, the neighbor boys would be unable to notice me curled into a ball in my car, listening to Pearl Jam almost on mute and writing notes of “To-Do’s” on the front cover of a Veggie Tales Coloring book.

2. 10-15 minutes into the Veggie Tales manifesto of grocery lists, my big sister finally responded to the “can I break into your house,” text. She asked no questions, just gave me the go ahead, maybe because she’s a genius. After raiding her pantry, I curled into her sons bed and drifted off to a ‘I’ve never taken a nap at 9am, nor have I ever slept on plastic sheets, but its the greatest time to nap and plastic sheets are only moderately annoying,’ best idea for a nap, ever.

3. On the evening of June 27, my family celebrated the 31st birthday of my older brother, Joey, who passed 4 years before my birthday, and 20 days before his second. Every year we celebrate, it makes me smile more. As a kid, we saved him a seat, we watched his favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz, as my parents strived and succeeded in keeping his memory alive. Last night, my children sang, my parents recalled memories, I felt a presence I’ve never met, strong and true, confident that vocations don’t end at death, and we all drank entirely too much milk shake. Happy Birthday, big brother.

4. If there are any theologians searching for some extra part time work, we could use a few around here. In the past few days, James has dished out, “Who made God,” “Why did God make bad guys,” “Does God love Bad guys too?” and “Can I bring my light saber to Church incase the bad guys that killed Jesus are there?” I believe this is called, the “beginning to deal with the existential but still mostly 3 years old” stage of spirituality.

5. And onto diaper news, Josie’s almost out. The problem, however, exists in her only occasional interest in the toilet. Carpets, apparently, seem like a much more reasonable location to her, because at two, all things desired are reasonable, and there is absolutely no better way to get a big brother to laugh more uncontrollably than the bowels at center stage.

6. When I volunteered to help teach Vacation Bible School at my parish, I expected a certain amount of requests and lessons learned from the Big Man. I, in no way, however, anticipating facing my biggest fear of them all in front of 50 small children. Given my surroundings, I, was, therefore, incapable of running away and screaming while flailing my limbs as the horrible, scariest animal in all of the kingdom stared into my soul with his unmovable eyes, which is the absolute worst characteristic an eye can possess. Eyes are meant to move! Heads are not mean to spin! And wings should make noise! Silent flight means there is no way of anticipating an attack! Next year, if the theme has anything to do with animal life, I’m definitely going to be busy for the finale. And while I do realize, fearing an owl is rather irrational, I’m also irrationally afraid of Mr. Bean and Robert Duval, so judge away. I also learned that the 4 year olds at my parish know wayyyy more about animal wildlife than I do.

And if you don’t think this is terrifying…ahhh!!!!

7. My kids have absolutely no idea how much Kale and how many Chia seeds they’ve been eating because if pineapple and blueberry are also ingredients in a smoothie, the taste is undetected, and, obviously, I’m a genius.